Voice
by Kaliotrimma
Summary: A somewhat somber take on the loss of HRE's memories. Human names used, and obviously subscribes to the HRE Germany theory. Warnings: Slightly depressing. Rated T due to sadness.


Hey all! My last fic was caught by the porn police, lol. It can be found somewhere in the depths of the Hetalia lj though. Anyway! This is one of the more depressing things about Hetalia- what happens when a nation loses a war?

What happens when a boy loses himself?

The beginning of the change from Imperium Romanum Sacrum... to Bundesrepublik Deutschland.

**Note: Human names are used in this fic. While I would use the country names, I wouldn't be comfortable with it- because at this point, the Holy Roman Empire doesn't exist. The boy who represents him is undergoing the transition to Germany; by calling him HRE, I'd be undermining that. So, Ludwig it is! Also, Hungary's human name is usually romanized as Elisabeth, but the Hungarian equivalent is ****Erzsébet**, **so that's what I used.** **Also also, I don't know if it needs to be said that HRE believes Italy to be a girl; I think it does need to be said that Austria thought he was a girl too.**

Characters are (c) Hidekaz-san.

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Dreams haunted him. Tossing, turning, Ludwig slept uneasily. Gilbert ran a hand down his brother's cheek, staring, worried, at the tiny form.

It hadn't been long since he'd saved the boy. Found him bloodied, dying on the battlefield. Francis had merely looked at him, blood dripping from his sword, and beckoned with one hand. His expression had seemed to say, _Take the boy. I can't bear to kill him._

So he had.

Gilbert stared at his knees, as he sat perched on the edge of his own bed. Ludwig had been talkative in his delirium, feverish, fighting for his life but not realizing it. He had muttered at first, when he was just beginning to recover; but those murmurs had progressed to speech, and before now, the boy had been screaming, hoarse, a sound not meant for a child's throat. He had screamed a sound so primal that it had left Gilbert shaken, in tears. He had begged, called out names that his new caretaker knew so well.

_Roderich! E-__Erzsébet! It hurts- help me!_

But the name he screamed until he could scream no more wasn't one Gilbert knew.

_FELICIANO!_

Gilbert clenched and unclenched his hands, glancing desperately at the child. He had woken up before, briefly, and after Gilbert had introduced himself, the boy had given him a hopelessly lost look.

"W-where is Feliciano?" He'd asked it in such a tired, weak voice. "I want to see her. Can I see her?"

Gilbert had bitten his lip, forced a smile, and told him, "You have to focus on getting better, okay?"

Again and again, in his fever-laden dreams, Ludwig had talked of Feliciano.

Now Ludwig was a shivering mess, his skin burning with fever. Gilbert shook his head furiously.

"… loved you…" Ludwig murmured, his face contorting as he slept, "… ince the 900s… I'll definitely… come back… Feliciano- more than anyone else in the world- love you…"

Gilbert's mind raced. Feliciano was important. He stood, not before pressing his lips to Ludwig's fever-reddened cheek. "I'll be back, kiddo," he whispered, "Real soon."

With an anxious mind, he closed the door behind him, and went to find Roderich.

_Water- all around him, a dark, encompassing flood. He couldn't hear, couldn't draw breath to scream. He writhed, struggling against the current, his head breaking the surface- the people on the shore, the scared faces all around him._

_The man who looked sad- _Roderich-_ the woman, in tears – _Erzsébet – _the little boy who frowned at him – _Lovino_- the man who stared at him with regret- _Francis-_ the girl, the girl who was running across the beach, crying, calling something to him that he couldn't hear- _Feliciano.

_He screamed, and there was no sound. They were fading. He couldn't see the man and woman's faces. Hands were outstretched to him, reaching, grasping; the current was dragging him away. Who were they? The men and the woman… they looked familiar to him, but he wasn't sure from where. The little boy- he knew the boy, somehow. But where? His name was… Lo… _

_He blinked for a moment. What had he been thinking of? There was no boy there…_

_Feliciano was still running, her tiny body propelling itself toward him. Her hand was reaching for him, and he could only call her name as the current swept his body farther from her._

"Feliciano!"

_Her voice reached him sounding like it had come through a tube._

"Don't go!"

_He couldn't see her face anymore. Something far below the waves had taken hold of him... He felt his body sink into the water, his head submerged. Couldn't see… couldn't breathe… Could only hear the voice of the girl…_

"I'll always be waiting!"

_The voice… who did it belong to? _

"Forever and ever!"

_The words repeated, a silhouette flashing before his closed eyes. Someone important…_

_The silhouette was gone._

"Forever!"

_All that was left was the voice._

"Ludwig. Ludwig!" Gilbert shook the boy lightly; to his panic, the child had stopped breathing. After a terrifying moment, the tiny form heaved as he drew breath. Gilbert's head spun with relief. "Ludwig?"

Blue eyes opened to stare at him. "Who are you?" he asked quietly.

Gilbert bit his lip. It wasn't too shocking that Ludwig wouldn't remember; he'd been feverish and sick when they first met. "I'm Gilbert, remember? I'm your big brother, and I'm gonna take good care of you. Do you remember what happened?"

Ludwig stared ahead with unseeing eyes. "No. I remember light. There was a voice."

He was silent after this, prompting Gilbert to say, "I told you I would do my best, so I talked to Roderich. He told me all about you and… Ludwig… do you want to see Feliciano?"

Ludwig trembled at the name, though he didn't seem to realize it. His gaze locked on his brother, and with a firm, emotionless voice, he asked, "Who is Feliciano?"

Gilbert stared, his mouth open. Ludwig didn't seem to notice. He closed his eyes again. "I'm tired, big brother. I want to go back to sleep."

"O-okay, kiddo. Sleep tight, okay? If you need something, just call for me."

"Mm."

After a moment, he knew the child was asleep.

Only then did he let the tears fall down his cheeks. "Dammit," he whispered furiously, "Dammit, damn me, damn everything- I was too late. Ludwig- oh, Ludwig…. I'm so sorry."

_Whose voice is that? Who…_

_

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NOW CRY. _I kid, I kid. Although I did wibble a little writing this. *le cry*

Please review if you want! It's been so long since I posted something...................


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